Page 46 - 2019aprilmay

Reflections Announcing

by Katie Butler Johnson 55+ ACTIVE ADULT
hen my friend Allison was awaiting the birth of her first
Wgrandchild, she asked if I had any tips on how to be a APARTMENT HOMES
“Granny.”
That got me thinking: Although I’m no parenting expert and have only life available for you. All the other lives are being lived by
no academic credits in psychology or child development, I can their owners.
claim some credibility about the subject based on my 57 years of If we truly listen to our children and grandchildren, they will tell
parenting. I am mom of four, granny of ten and great-granny of us just who they are. Time spent lecturing them about who we retirement of
two. Here are some things I told Allison based on what I learned think they should be will only distance them from us. Bottom the
over my years of “on-the- line: Leave the parenting to
job“ training. the parents. We get the fun
My grandmother-in- part – grandparenting! property
law was staying with us Build sand castles; sing
shortly after the birth of songs; bake cookies; read
our first son. He cried a books to them; dance with
lot. She‘d swoop in, pick them; serve them pizza for
him up, sit in the rocker breakfast; trumpet their
and soothe him before successes; soothe their
I had a chance to do it. disappointments; take them taxes.
She became convinced on trips; be present for their
his crying signaled life events; be magical; be
something very wrong your unique self! .
and fretted repeatedly
that he needed a doctor. Bottom line: Be more than
Having successfully just a name that fills a line
raised an accomplished on their genealogy chart. Be
son, she was the expert. a loving memory engraved
I was the novice, new to forever in their hearts.
this mothering bit. I didn’t
think his crying signaled anything amiss. But, I was intimidated
and didn’t have confidence enough to trust my gut feeling.
Off we went to the pediatrician.
My gut was right! Luckily that doctor’s visit wasn’t wasted. The
pediatrician took me aside and gave me valuable advice. He told
me young mothers should understand that nature retires a woman
from parenting just when she thinks she’s gotten the hang of
it. Those retirees are eager to exercise their hard-earned child- You’re Invited! Break free with us.
rearing skills when their grandchildren come along. He explained
that her actions weren’t meant to question my parenting ability Mix & Mingle with Us!
but an attempt to be involved, helpful and relevant. Maintenance-free living that o ers
Newly minted parents are particularly vulnerable to perceived
criticism. They’ve read all the books and are eager to be perfect Every Tuesday in April the freedom to live life carefree.
parents. They often hear well-meaning but unsolicited advice as
criticism of their parenting skills. 4PM – 6PM
So, my advice to Allison was: Step back. Parents need time to • Lock & Leave lifestyle
bond with their addition(s). Give them space to adjust to their Complimentary Light
new reality. Be available, but wait to be asked before stepping Bites & Drinks
in. I think the grandparent role is akin to that of the mother of • Modern 1- to 2-bedroom apartment homes
the groom at a wedding: Be available; Be joyful; Don’t criticize. Learn About Our • Resort-style amenities
And above all remember: New parents get to do it their way. Beautiful Community
They get to name the baby; make all the decisions; and establish • Innovative programs and events daily
their own traditions. Their choices may not be our choices, our Meet New Friends
ways or our traditions. We shouldn’t guilt them into accepting • Lots of new friends and neighbors
ours. Accept theirs.
Some grandparents are so eager to bond with their grandchildren
they risk intruding and enmeshing themselves into their OvertureDFW.com
children’s lives. Don’t helicopter around that young family, but RSVP TODAY!
do jet in if requested and needed. Live your own life. It’s the

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